You’re Not Lost So Stop Trying To Find Yourself
Publication: RidiculouslyExtraordinary.
Posted by Ryan Neal
You’re Not Lost So Stop Trying To Find Yourself
Publication: RidiculouslyExtraordinary. Posted by Ryan Neal

"Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present." - Bil Keane
The topic of "finding yourself" comes up regularly on blogs and in person conversations. We all seem to be a bunch of confused people who aren't sure what's happening or why.

Good. :)

We should embrace the fact that we don't know exactly what's happening from moment to moment.

Who knows where this relationship will lead?

Who knows if this is opportunity or a dead end?

Who knows how the recipe you're trying for dinner will turn out?

Not knowing is where the fun lies.

I used to be extremely uptight. I needed to know everything about everything about everything and if something was just a little bit off I would become stressed to no end.

Embrace Uncertainty and Live Certainly

If you're trying to find yourself it means you're either living in the past or the future (or both!).

Do you know what happens when we live thinking about and planning for every contingency?

When something unexpected happens (and it will) we're actually less prepared to deal with it. Instead of being in the moment and dealing with what's happening right now, we live in the future and the past.

"Oh no! Why did this have to happen to me?"

"Oh no! What will I do about this tomorrow?"

How about this instead: "Let's figure out how to deal with this situation."

Robots, Machines, and Feelings

Somebody recently mentioned to me that you can't help how you feel, not quite going so far as to calling me a robot.

"You can't turn off your feelings."

She's right. You can't. Humans think and feel.

What you can do is live with the moments as they happen as opposed to wondering about the past and stressing about the future.

You can learn how to deal with anything in a positive, beneficial way.

Note: Although my body is a machine (yours is too if you want it to be), I'm not a robot. My heart and mind are real just like the next guy or gal. ;)

Don't Watch The Past In The Present

Say you're into basketball and your favorite team is in the NBA Finals. Is it worth watching the games after the series is over? No. Unless you're a super-fan, it's all about watching the moments unfold in front of your very eyes.

Why should life be any different?

It shouldn't.

Don't Watch The Future Before It Happens

You buy a lottery ticket and have already spent the money you haven't (err, won't) won. You plan a trip and imagine exactly how it's going to turn out.

This sets us up for incredible disappointment. Instead of buying a lottery ticket, buy a sandwich. Instead of imagining a trip down to the last detail, give it space. Imagine a fantastic time with lots of unknown variables.

In the paraphrased words of Denis Leary:

"Live life moment to moment, street to street, beat to beat."

Special comment love request:

1) How are you?

2) How do you live moment to moment?

(Also, remember: Only first or full names in the name field. No URLs/branding.)