While most bloggers want more people reading their sites by any means necessary, I want more of my right people and less of my wrong people reading my site. By any means necessary. Even if that means asking you to unsubscribe and stop reading. The goal is to lose 1,000 readers this week. Is it you? I don’t know yet.
Last Thursday I attempted an experiment that I thought was going to be a blast. I was going to say “yes” to every request that came through online and offline for 7 days.
My first mistake is that I had expectations. I expected people to be civil. You know, use my name, say please or thank you, show respect.
What I got was over 200 requests within 36 hours (probably over 300 total since I still get 20/day – even though the experiment ended Friday night), a majority of which were, very sadly, in the “I say jump and you ask how high” realm. You can see some of that in the public requests, but it’s the private requests that did me in.
I used to be very cynical. I don’t know what happened over the past couple of years, but I lost most of that cynicism. Which is good, of course. So when I had the idea for “yes week” I didn’t expect that the majority of requests would be rude, insulting, and try to take advantage of me.
Most People Need Authority
You know I’m generally anti-authority. But this experiment made me realize that most people need authority. Most people need to be told what to do. Most people need American Idol, and WalMart, and XBox, and Burger King, and “duuuuude, it’s the weekend, let’s smoke weed and get wasted, yeah!”
What most people don’t need is free reign. What most people can’t do is control themselves when given great opportunities.
This is good.
I’m not looking for most people to read this site. This site is for a very small minority. I didn’t realize just how small until this week. But it’s small. And I’m happy to give my all to that small minority.
I’m also happy to say “fuck off” to everybody else. Everybody else: I don’t need you. You don’t need me. Let’s part ways now, yeah? Unsubscribe is at the end of every e-mail and in your feedreader. Click, click, click … thank you. ;)
How Would I Conduct A Request If I Knew Someone I Respected Would Say Yes?
It’s easy. “Hi Mark, thanks for doing this. Could I please meet with you (via phone or in person) for 5 minutes? I have 1 specific question I’d like to ask regarding [fill in the blank].” Mark being Mark Cuban, of course. :) And hopefully he’d say in person is cool so I could fly to Dallas and meet with him. hehe
My right people know I believe in the 5 Sentences Rule so the request would be short and to the point. Respectful.
The goal would obviously be to make an impression in that 5 minutes. But the goal definitely would not be to disrespect him and his time. “Uhh, could I have some money? I know you’re going to say yes. Since you’re a billionaire, how about a milli mil?” No name, no please. He’s not Mark Cuban anymore. Just some rich dude with “too much money and probably too much free time.”
I had people literally ask me for 3 hours of my time. 3 hours! For what? You don’t need 3 hours of my time. What you need is to take those 3 hours, get off your ass, and go do something monumental. Or watch TV. Whatever. At the very least, stop reading this site. I sure can’t help you. Nobody can.
Ridiculously Extraordinary Freedom Isn’t For Everybody
I used to think it was. I was looking at things through the proverbial “rose colored glasses.”
The truth is, freedom is for the select few. It’s literally not possible for the majority to have freedom. Not only do they not truly want it, if they actually had it then they’d abuse the privilege.
One day when I was 13 my Dad asked me to mow the lawn, as he did every week. I went out back, mowed an Anarchy symbol into the grass, and called it a day. Stupid. Disrespectful. And typical 13 year old.
We’re not fucking 13 anymore
And anarchy is lame. (Unless, of course, you’re Fabian, The Friendly Anarchist.)
With The Bad, Comes The Good
I’ve focused on the bad, but there were a lot of great requests. If you left an awesome request, thank you. Most likely it has already been fulfilled. If it hasn’t been fulfilled yet, I just haven’t had time … yet. (I’ll get to it!) Although it wasn’t a majority, there were a ton of great requests and I’ve almost fulfilled that backlog. I didn’t expect such an overwhelming response. The negative requests delayed my fulfilling of the good requests. After I quit the experiment Friday night, I essentially took a day off and didn’t deal with many requests at all.
So if you had a good request, you should tell all the disrespectful requesters to fuck off as well. They messed with you as much as they did with me. Because as you know, Freedom Fighting isn’t even about me. It’s about us. We can’t tolerate disrespect here.
It all boils down to this: if you’re awesome, I want you here. If you’re not, I don’t.
I’m on the way to BlogWorld right now. I don’t know how much I’ll be online while in Vegas as I’ll be mostly hanging out with kick ass people … and then checking out Death Valley, Hoover Dam, Valley of Fire, etc for a few days afterwards. What I mean is, comment moderation and e-mail responses might be slow but I’m happy to hear from you! :)
P.S. If you’re still here: I love you.